Rest of the content omitted for brevity! edition

Rest of the content omitted for brevity! edition

Kevin Kousaie

(ed’s note: I had ChatGPT edit this and at points it literally just said “rest of the content omitted for brevity”. ChatGPT really gets what we’re trying to do. I mean, I feel like we could do that for the entirety of Kevin’s articles)

 

Now for what you all have been waiting for… after weeks and weeks, here it is: my Week 1 article! (rest of the content omitted for brevity) (ed’s note: see!)

 

With winter finally behind us, we’re back to the game we all love. It’s a shame we couldn’t finish the winter season, thanks to the Stinger Dome going full flapdoodle and collapsing under all that snow. They really fluffed the snow management — like, how do you not keep the roof clear in a snowstorm? That’s the difference between when the MFL handles something and when it’s left to someone who isn’t, well, me. I told Terry and Jon exactly what I would’ve done to keep it clean and upright — but hey, sounds like a Concordia problem, not mine.

 

I’m thrilled football is back, even if my schedule’s looking bonkers — only 18 days off between now and the end of the fall season. But the good news is, when you’re waking up at 5:30am to do everything, that counts as sleeping in now.

 

Anyway, let’s get into it and see what went down around the MFL in Week 1!

 

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WEEK 1 RECAP

 

D1

 

I missed covering D1 games this week, so I’ll leave it to Terry and Willie to chat about them on the podcast — if they can squeeze it into Willie’s busy-busy schedule.

 

D2

 

Phoenix vs Ducks (35-12)

The Ducks moved up from D3 and met a Phoenix team with a few new faces. Kris is now QB, and with his experience, play-calling, and glitterbomb-level skillset (ed’s note: ChatGPT is killing it with these text replacements!), he’s completely transformed the team. The game-breaker? Phoenix’s defense: 2 interceptions (including one at the goal line on the opening drive) and 3 sacks — one of them for a safety. Ducks are still adjusting to the D2 pace; give them a season or two to fully gel.

 

D3

 

Trench Babies vs F.A.T. Players (19-40)

Honestly, I thought it would go the other way after seeing Trench Babies warm up. Turns out I was wronger than a porcupine at a balloon party (ed’s note: ChatGPT made that up. Truly, AI is the new Kousaie. Or should I say, “KousAIe”…). They dropped at least 10 passes and biffed a few would-be picks on defense. Leon noticed this and started throwing double moves — and that’s when the game cracked wide open. Also, let’s talk about Anthony. When people think F.A.T. Players, they think Sean or Vince. But Anthony? He’s owning the middle like a sandwich at a picnic (ed’s note: Okay, I don’t get this one). Big target, crisp routes, Velcro hands — and deceptively speedy.

 

D4

 

Bandits vs F.A.T. Players (25-12)

Let me start by saying: Richard may *think* he’s good-looking, but his hands were having a full-on spaghetti-noodle day. He went 1-for-3. It was a sluggish, sticky-note kind of game to watch. F.A.T. Players had a new QB, Francois, who showed both potential and wibbly-wobblies. A few more weeks and he’ll be solid. As for the Bandits, Matt needs to avoid the brain-fizzles: go for 2 when you’re up 7, go for 1 when you’re up 8 — you know, football math. And spread the love: 12 catches for JP and only 8 combined for the rest of the team? That won’t fly every week.

 

D5

 

Phoenix vs Jungle Squad (44-14)

Things started off great for Jungle Squad — they won the toss, elected to defend, and Martin pick-snatched (ed’s note: love it) Nick’s second pass of the season for a TD. Then… it became The Nick Show. He threw 5 TDs, nabbed 2 picks, and ran one in himself. Phoenix added some new faces too, none more impactful than Brendan, who balled out with 2 TDs, two 2-point converts, and a pick on defense.

 

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STUDS & DUDS

 

It’s that magical moment where I shout out the superstars who absolutely tater-tornadoed (ed’s note: can we give ChatGPT a raise? Brilliant!) Week 1… and gently (okay, not gently) roast the ones who flopped harder than a pancake in a bouncy castle.

 

STUDS

 

D1

 

* Jeremi Riendeau-Demers: 9 catches, 100+ yards, 3 TDs, 1 two-point convert, 2 tackles, 3 picks, and a pick-six.

 

D2

 

* Justin White: 3 sacks and a pick-six… all while rushing. Shermika, you called it — give the man a medal.

 

D3

 

* Greg D’Alesio: 5 sacks. Quarterback’s worst nightmare.

 

D4

 

* Alec De Lafontaine-Jovani: 16/20 for 127 yards, 5 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD, and 4 tackles.

 

D5

 

* Idris Selmi: 3 catches for 63 yards — 2 TDs. Also had 6 tackles and 2 picks.

 

Women’s

 

* Angie Toporowski: First time at QB and led Crazy Bs to their first win! 13/28, 114 yards, 3 TDs, 0 picks.

 

DUDS

 

D1

 

* Guillaume Renaud-Dumoulin: Threw 5 picks. Welcome to D1, where the puppies are actually full-grown bulldozers (ed’s note: You’re on thin ice, ChatGPT!).

 

D2

 

* Alexandre Szalipszki: 10 carries, 19 yards, no defensive stats.

 

D3

 

* Trench Babies: All that sideline swagger and then played like they were chasing squirrels in flip-flops.

 

D4

 

* Jean-Francois Lawrence: 7 picks in 2 games. Shake it off, buddy.

 

D5

 

* Nick Kousaie: Pick-six on his second pass of the season. Lucky the cameras weren’t rolling.

 

Women’s

 

* Crazy Bs Rusher: No sacks against rookies? Ruh-roh.

 

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PREDICTIONS

 

Missed Week 1 predictions, so as Terry joked: guess I went 100%! Let’s say 99% just to be fair. Here are my totally unbiased picks for Week 2 (winners in bold):

 

D1

 

Iron Wolves vs Outlaws

Villains vs KOLB

Ranceurs vs Villains

Raccons vs KOLB

 

D2

 

Fins Up vs Nice TDs

Average Joes vs RawSauce

Rejects vs CIA

Phoenix vs Double Dippers NA

 

D3

 

Action Squad vs Thunder Buddies 

Tropic Thunder vs Hog Riders

Hog Riders vs Action Squad 

Witching Hour vs La Horde

Him U vs Iron Trollers

 

D4

 

F.A.T.Players vs Creeky Knees

Bouchers vs Beerhood

Bandits vs Underdogs

Mustard Tigers vs Nothing But D

 

D5

 

514 vs Phoenix NA

Big Booties vs Improbables

Dart Throwers and Smokers vs Mimosa Crew 

Orphans vs Pick 6s

Slicks vs Wolverines

Jungle Squad vs Big Assets

Wong Dynasty vs MTL Cessnas 

Jungle Squad vs Orphans

 

Women

 

Free Agent vs Drama Queens

 

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POWER RANKINGS

 

D1 (Top 3)

 

1. Outlaws

2. Iron Wolves

3. KOLB

 

D2 (Top 3)

 

1. Double Dippers

2. Phoenix

3. Average Joes

 

D3 (Top 4)

 

1. F.A.T. Players

2. Horde

3. LTC

4. Him U

 

D4 (Top 4)

 

1. Nothing But D

2. Action Squad

3. Bandits

4. Mustard Tigers

 

D5 (Top 5)

 

1. Titans

2. Phoenix

3. Dart Throwers and Smokers

4. Slicks

5. MTL Cessnas

 

Women’s (Top 1)

 

1. Crazy Bs

 

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FINAL THOUGHTS

 

That’s all for this week — time to let you get back to your regularly scheduled life. Who am I kidding? We’re all just counting down to Saturday like goblins waiting for second breakfast. Sure, most of us are older now, but nothing beats that electric feeling when game day hits.

 

Reminder: we’re at Darcy McGee this week, not De La Vérendrye.

 

It’s 4am, so I’m off to my real job. Can’t wait to see you all out there this weekend. Let’s make Week 2 even better.

 

Stay weird, stay wonderful — and don’t make me put your name in the Dud list next week, you goofnuggets.

Iron Wolves are the 2024 MFL D1 Fall Champions!

Iron Wolves are the 2024 MFL D1 Fall Champions!

MFL

An epic fight in D1 between the Iron Wolves and the Outlaws saw the Wolves take home the trophy with a 53-40 win and MVP Josh Levine scoring 5 TDs and getting an INT on defense.

 

Congratulations to our champions and thank you to everyone for an amazing fall season!

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 13

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 13

Kevin Kousaie

Predictions

It’s 4 a.m., and I had a few minutes on break, so I figured I’d tell you who’s winning it all this weekend. Last week, with only 11 games to pick from, I got 6 right, or 54%. I know that’s not amazing, but anywhere else in Canada, that’s a passing grade. Here are my picks for the finals, in bold as always.

 

· D1: Iron Wolves vs. Outlaws

· D2: Nice TDs vs. Respect

· D3: Ducks vs. CIA

· D4: Blue Badgers vs. Witching Hour

· D5: Jungle Squad vs. Slicks

· Women’s: Tigres vs. Steeleuses

 

There you have it, my picks for the Fall 2024 finals. Games start Saturday from 10:30 and should be over by 3 at the latest. With only three time slots, it’s a quick day, and you’ll get your football fix before the season ends—at least until January.

 

Final Thoughts

I’m not sure about the rest of you, but with my Saturdays free now, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself. Oh wait, I know—I’ll be working, at least until Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, is it too soon to put up decorations? I prefer to wait until after U.S. Thanksgiving (the second-best day of the year, after the Super Bowl). It’s been a long 26 weeks, and I’m looking forward to some rest and relaxation. This weekend we have the finals, but on top of that, we’re having the league get-together on Sunday at Champs, as we have the past few years. I won’t be there since I’ll be in bed, but everyone else should go. You won’t see some of these folks for a few months. If you haven’t signed up to play this winter, you’d better do it soon before spots fill up. Even though this is the season’s last week and everyone playing is chasing a championship, please don’t forget that we’re all here to have fun, so go out, enjoy yourselves, and have a blast. See you Saturday!

Word from the Mouth: Flopped Like a Flounder! edition

Word from the Mouth: Flopped Like a Flounder! edition

Kevin Kousaie

I know my article is late this week, and there are multiple reasons why, mostly due to me getting used to my new schedule at work. Now, I’m having to write this at home instead of at the office. When the season first started, I hated getting up at 5 a.m. to get everything organized for those first few weeks. But now, getting up and out of the house at 2 a.m. seems absolutely flibberflab and out of this world! I wish I could still sleep in until 5 a.m. This past weekend was great for football, but this upcoming weekend isn’t looking quite the same. It’s calling for rain overnight on Friday, continuing into Saturday morning. Let’s hope for the best; no one wants to play the finals in the rain and snow. I can tell you it’s a real woofle, makes for bad games, and as a ref, fan, and sometimes player, I don’t want to see that.

 

Recap

 

D1 

Sorry folks, I missed your games. Maybe I’ll catch the finals this weekend.

 

D2 Double Dippers vs. Respect (26-48)
I won’t fib and tell you I thought this was going to be a good game. I figured Steve was on his way to another final. But once the game started, all bets were off. Starting with the ball, Dave took Double Dippers down the field, hitting Simon for a 3-yard TD. Steve then got his first crack at it, moved the ball, but couldn’t respond, handing it back to Double Dippers. With the chance to go up two scores, they could only manage one first down before Dave threw four straight incomplete passes. After failing on his first drive, Steve scored on his next three possessions, giving Respect a 20-6 lead at halftime. Respect started the second half with the ball, seemingly putting the final nail in Double Dippers’ season. But no one told Double Dippers that! They came out on fire on defense, with back-to-back pick-6s from Simon and Eric, tying it up at 20-20. With both teams trading scores afterward, it looked like the team with the last possession would win. But Dilan wasn’t a fan of that idea, so his defense stepped up, stopping Double Dippers on 4th and 1 and snagging two interceptions from Edouard.

 

D3, D4, D5 

Sorry folks, I missed your games. Maybe I’ll catch the finals this weekend.

 

Women’s Déesses du Drapeau vs Steeleuses (6-32)
Branda took care of the ball, limiting mistakes this week, throwing four TDs and only one pick, while completing 62.5% of her passes for 149 yards. Mélissa-Anne Xavier stood out in this game, catching all five passes thrown her way, turning them into 50 yards and a TD. I could go on about how great their offense is—with five different players catching TD passes—but it’s their defense that makes them stand out. Déesses du Drapeau are a solid team, and Viviane is one of the best QBs in the division, but she couldn’t do much against that defense. Viviane was sacked three times by Harmonie and intercepted twice by Monica. When you play defense like that and protect the ball, you’re bound to win a lot, which is why Steeleuses went undefeated and are likely the favorites to win it all.

 

That’s all I have this week for recaps. I’m sure Terry and Willie will fill you in on everything else in the podcast.

 

Studs & Duds

Being exhausted from working overnight and running late with my article, I’ll get right to it and tell you who really frolicked and who flopped like a flounder (ed’s note: these ChatGPT edits are amazing!). Here are my picks.

 

Studs

· D1: Jonathan Lyristis – 11 catches, 67 yards, 1 TD. On defense, he had 3 sacks.

· D2: Benjamin Lepetit – 4 sacks, limiting Terry to 2.23 yards per carry.

· D3: Jason McAleer – picking Jon off three times. Anyone who does that is top-notch in my book, even if they cheer for the flabber-blasted Bears.

· D4: Oliver Quinn – 6 catches, 61 yards, 3 TDs.

· D5: Julien Shabazz – 6 tackles, 1 pick on defense, and on offense, 4 catches for 39 yards with 2 TDs.

· Women’s: Karen Rodriguez – 7 catches, 69 yards, 1 TD, and 3 picks on defense.

 

Duds

· D1: Andrew Grant – 4 catches for 21 yards and 1 TD isn’t cutting it. With a name like Flash, that yard-per-catch is more like molasses.

· D2: David Brisson – for throwing 3 picks.

· D3: Marvin Steingberg – 11 for 34 with 4 picks while averaging 4.5 yards per carry on 10 runs.

· D4: Gold – because of his 5 picks.

· D5: Luca Manolache – for running 9 times and managing only 6 yards.

· Women’s: Kayla Gauthier – it’s the playoffs, and throwing 6 picks won’t cut it.

 

Those are my picks for round two of the playoffs. Love them or hate them, I don’t really care! You can complain about my picks, but if you think you balled out, just remember it’s my opinion that counts here.

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 12

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 12

Kevin Kousaie

Predictions

 

Last week I did well in my picks and went 8-2. Its sad that it took me all the way until the playoffs to crack the 80% mark. Just like in sports, it’s not about how many games you win, all people remember is if you won the last game. Now for this weeks picks and like always they are in bold.

 

D1

A-Team vs Iron Wolves

 

D2

Double Dippers vs Respect

Nice TDs vs Thunder Buddies 

 

D3

Iron Wolves vs CIA

Top Shooters vs Ducks

 

D4

F.A.T. Players vs Witching Hour

Action Squad vs Blue Badgers

 

D5

28-3 vs Slicks

Les Last Calls vs Jungle Squad

 

Women’s

Déesses du Drapeau vs Steeleuses

Majestic Divas vs Tigres

 

That is who I have winning and if I keep up with the 80% from last week it means I have 9 games right. Which 9 is up to you.

 

Final Thoughts

 

I had planned to put up my all-star list this week, but I have been super busy training a new person to do my job as I will be taking on a new position at work. I love my job, but after so many years I could use a change and this will free me up to take on coaching tackle football and giving back to the children.

I think it’s funny how in the summer I need to remind everyone to bring water and stay hydrated, but when it gets even a bit cold everyone has jackets and boots without being told. This just shows you that they would rather pass out from heat exhaustion and dehydration rather than be a bit cold.

This past weekend, Brossard and Laval capped off their seasons and now we need a championship between the two leagues. Southsiders and Villains, what a game this could be. Terry, Jon you need to make this happen. Wait, let me talk to the person really in charge. Willie, get this done.

We are in round 2 of the playoffs and it’s win and go to the finals or lose and wonder what could have been. We are still playing a game, so go out, have some fun, and try not to kill anyone. We all have places to be on Monday. See you on Saturday. 

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